Love this mother earth statue in the square.  Her belly is shiny from years of children sliding down her.  Of course, children sliding down a statue of the naked female form would NOT go over in America…but nobody thinks anything of it here.

A theatre at Hans Christian Anderson’s childhood home where kids do plays of his work:

i'm amazed Thomas posed for this picture...he must really LUV me.

Thomas loves his Mutti

HC Anderson’s house…he was poverty-stricken, gawky, weird…all the kids made fun of him…many believe he was homosexual…he was religious, and any sexual urges caused him overwhelming guilt.  He actually put a tiny “m” in his journal to shamefully mark the days he had masturbated…he was a big mess.  All the makings of a great writer, huh?

I love the public art in Denmark...it is completely interactive...well, mostly only for those under 8 years old ...and crazy Americans. But still.

Thomas and Ina walk down towards the water where HC Anderson would spend hours helping his mother do the washing and listen to her stories of water nymphs and sprites:

For lunch we have smoergesbroed, which you are required to finish with Schnapps and herring:

Got to see more of Thomas’s paintings:

He did this one of his grandfather, who passed away before it was finished.  Such a beautiful painting:

Out of respect for Ina, I won’t show her house…though I wish I could.  It is two stories in the center of town…she has decorated it so beautifully…everywhere you look is something surprising…gorgeous art all over the walls…a wall of books…and we are staying upstairs in a slanted room with a window on the roof…the apartment is over 100 years old.   This place is right in the best area of Odense…so much going on outside the window…musicians always playing on the street…people running around, laughing…I love it here!  THANK YOU MUTTI!!!!

There were gonna be a lot of kids at the cookout, so I thought the least I could do was bring balloons.  I mean, I’m American, and so I already got a strike against me…if it takes winning over their children to get them to like me, I ain’t above it.

These kids were adorable.  But one of them found it confusing I didn’t speak Danish…she got it in her head that I was mentally disabled instead of Danish-ignorant.  Her response was to as me for a flower over and over, stretching out the word and practically screaming it:  “BLUUUUUUMMMMMPSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTT!”

Another reason we should all love Oprah:  my mom saw an episode about Denmark this year and decided the Danes were wonderful people.  In this episode, Oprah visited Danish homes and met with the families.  BRUSH WITH FAME:  this little girl’s family (the one in the red dress) was profiled.  I got the whole story.  The press was everywhere…so Oprah actually got in the backseat of her mom’s car and they drove to the house…the girls response to Oprah?  She whispered to her mom “She’s so big!”

Then jetlag hit and we fell asleep on the grass….for FOUR HOURS.

Of course, that was a great excuse for Thomas’s friends to mess with us and take pictures.

The sausage was awesome, by the way.

Yes, Tao is back.  I missed you, Devil.  And thanks for letting us crash at your house.

We went to a freaky art exhibition:

And the scene was eerily similar to a Williamsburg art crowd.  Hipster, I guess, transcend nationality.

The meat-packing district.  Know how calm everyone looks?  Peace-loving?  Well, they are.  Until about 2 a.m.  That is the moment when Danes go crazy.  Denmark has a very, very different approach to male/female relationships and sex….I guess you can boil it down to this: feminism is integral to their everyday life.  Now of course I can’t speak for all the Danish people, but this is the common belief…women should be treated as equals…and they mean it.  There is no glass ceiling…women run corporations just as often as men.  Maybe this is why Danish men are so standoffish….that said, Danes do not approach sex with the same baggage Americans due.  They don’t date, and one night stands are not only common, they are acceptable…this is how you date in Denmark: go to a club, stand around and get trashed, then grab the 1 to 3 a.m. window of opportunity to proposition someone…take them home, have sex, and then contemplate if you want a relationship in the morning.  If you don’t want a relationship, chances are you’ll still remember their name…and you might even stay friends.  To sum it up, people are slutty in Denmark until they find the right mate…then they mate for life.  Whatever we think about that in America, I will say it is refreshing to meet people who don’t have so many hang-ups about sex.

Local Dick

three amigos

Johan and Tao not only picked my outfit (they made me change four times until they agreed), but also posed me for this picture….believe it or not, these guys are actually heterosexual.  Almost TOO heterosexual…you would not believe some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths.  I adore them, but I REALLY need to hang out with a chick at some point.

my photo shoot

Run into his old friend X…yeah, that’s his name.  And yeah, he’s that mysterious…he wouldn’t even let me take a picture of him.  But he took some of us!  And he’s a total gay, as they’d say in Copenhagen…by the way, gay people can get married in Denmark…people tease, but there is little outright homophobia.  And X took us to a gay bar…I was pretty much the only chick, and Thomas was the only straight guy…and he’s a champ.  I know it wasn’t his first choice of bars, but he knew it made me happy and we stuck around.

“Bears” are new to Denmark….they just emerged due to (according to X) a Vice Magazine article….and now they are going strong:

And it’s no secret I practice the art of pole dancing…for FITNESS.  Honestly, I rarely do it in front of other people, and even then it is a joke.  But c’mon…a gay bar in Copenhagen?  A pole?

Of course I was instantly popular…I even taught a table of guys some moves (PS, they’d never done it and were better than me)

Bars pretty much never close in Denmark…we went home around six a.m.  Thomas had to take a nap….

…and I had to buy a bunch of gummy candies.  I am completely OBSESSED with the array of gummy candies available in Scandinavia.   I had a whole bag.  And I offered some to these three prostitutes, who seem very pleased.  One took the big strawberry gummy I’d been saving, but that is okay.  ‘Cause sharing is caring, just like they say in Pre-school.

I was soooooooooooooooooooo tired.

They have blankets at the outdoor cafes

Trivoli!

Johan-ilicious!This is one of Thomas’s oldest friends Johan. He is posing in front of a painting Thomas did for him. He’s an artist too, and pretty freaking amazing. He’s worked as a model, a butler in Ibiza, the owner of a high-class nightclub…and he’s elegant, brilliant and hilarious. And having someone trained as a butler around is the best…anything you need, Johan will make it

All of Thomas’s friends and family have his paintings on their walls…seeing them live kinda blew my mind.  Here is another Thomas original:

Our other hotel was so freaky…nobody seems to work there.  You book your room then open the front door (and your room) with a code.  You never see an actual employee… which is why it is so cheap, I guess.  But it was very Shining.

Outside the window of our hotel Copenhagen Plaza Hotel: Led Zeppelin has a lifetime ban for trashing their hotel room.

No graffiti artist would dare cover this tag…this was done by one of the old-schoolers, and the new generation of tag artists are respectful of their forbearers.

The docks of Christianshavn

enter Christania...at your own risk. You can't take pics inside...I didn't even notice the guy peeing until after I saw the picture

 Christania was started on an abandoned military base by squatters in 1968.  These kids wanted to create a new utopia.  At the time, the Danish government thought these young hippies were ‘cute’ and left them alone. But these squatters built and thrived, until the government couldn’t legally stop them…they had already created their own society. Christania grew prosperous, creating their own system of money and rules of governing – in other words, this is an enormous commune in a major metropolitan society that is still thriving today.  You can’t live there unless you are a legacy, and there are families that have been there for generations.  Many of the residents have gone on to be lawyers and members of public office (while still residing in Christania). 

 I got this picture from the web: 

The government still has problems with this place…mainly, they want the land.  Recently they attempted a takeover under the auspices of illegal sales of hash…well, it didn’t work.  Instead, the city was a mess…this spurred a violent drug war in Copenhagen proper.  So the government backed off and even admitted wrongdoing.  And Christiania continues, at least for now.  

A picture of Pusher Street taken from the web:  

 I wish I could show pictures, but they don’t allow it.  I don’t even know how to describe this place.  There are endless trails leading to the most insane Dr. Seussical homes, weird structures, installations…everywhere you turn is something dark or whimsical…this is a self-created fantasy world, and everything goes.  There are enormous homes that have been passed from generation to generation…on Pusher Street, people sell blocks of hash and jars of pot from picnic tables.  The bosses look like average guys wearing jeans and baseball caps, but I am told they are millionaires. There are coffee shops where people smoke up and play chess…marijuana plants growing wild…open steam showers where you can buy pots of mud and cover yourself.  There are the children of Christiania, dirty and crouched around the wooden structures they are building…tiny enclaves of nature, where groups listen to music and nap on the grass…I was allowed to take a picture at one of these: 

best Thomas pic ever....

pacifier tree

Outside a bar, old hippies sit around.  A woman in a wheelchair has tokens hanging from her hat – a child’s Converse sneaker, a small Panda bear.  A guy stands up on the bench and giddily removes his pants.  He clutches his crotch and giggles.  No one pays any attention.   A sign has the rules of Christinia drawn in images:  no hard drugs, no weapons, no littering.  Another plus:  Christian has the best outdoor wi-fi in the country. Of course, there are many unpleasant and scary elements of Christania.  And in some ways, it feels like stepping into a fucked up, askew version of what 1969 wanted to be.  But, at the same time, there is something noble about the fact that this hippie society has continued all these years.  

Not to mention, I got a freaking cool coat. And we saw this old Citroen in a shed, and begged the guy for a picture. This one is for you, Chris.

Grier doesn't take any shit

We had no idea how this whole impromptu book party thing would work out…we just kinda threw it together.  But here’s the thing:  we know the most talented people in the world. And they came.  And they did their thing.  And it was seriously…awe-inspiring.  And wild.

Maybe, since the book is about a boy obsessed with Kerouac, we subconsciously made the whole thing feel like a 1954 beat reading:

However it happened…it was the greatest and most eclectic configuration of people I’ve ever seen.  And they had the best time!

There was Ned and Renee, who organized the whole thing at Ned’s family-run vintage store in Brooklyn, Sunday Love:

This is the best store, run by Ned, his son Scott, and Scott’s girlfriend Grier.  They make a lot of the stuff…we have their crazy, visionary constructions all over our apartment.  And Renee is this whip-smart business lady, with the biggest heart I’ve ever seen.  I mean, this is one freaking talented family.  The other son, Ned Jr., is a model.  And whatever your preconcieved notions about models are – his crew of  model friends are funny, smart and real.

Ned Jr., Scott, Taylor and Friend

And yeah…did I mention they are hot?  Well, they are models.  Not to get all superficial, but having gorgeous people at your book party is kinda cool.

Taylor and Ned modeling shot…yes, they really are in love.

But there’s more…like I said, weirdest and best configuration of people EVER:

Ned, Renee, Tony, Will 1, Loretta, Hot Danish Artist Thomas Warming

One of the best parts of the evening (and emotional, for me) was that Will 1 came from Philly for the party.  I haven’t talked much about Will 1 on this site, mainly because he’s private.  But I guess he’s gotta get over that now, because he’s got a book coming out.  Will Smith 1 is the father of Will Smith the actor (and grandfather of Jaden the Karate Kid)…and once you get to know him, you start to realize exactly WHY his family is so talented and extraordinary – they got it from him.

I met him over a year ago (he lives in a condo near my parents in Philly).  He’s become a kind of surrogate grandfather to me  (I think of him as my black grandaddy).  I helped him with his novel…and now it is getting published!  (check it out here)  More on that later…but his book getting picked up was almost more exciting for me than when I found out my own book was getting published.  He’s one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met, and I’m so blessed to have him in my life…he’s taught me more about being strong than I can possibly explain in a blog.

And I can’t believe he came to my party!

Will and Renee having a deep conversation

And Will brought Tony, his co-author on The Waymor…and Tony played the trumpet!  He is probably one of the best trumpet players in America.

Tony TORE IT UP.

And we had this incredible DJ, Peter Munch (his website).  Also Danish, and completely innovative.  He really feels the crowd and goes with their energy…he did an impromptu mix with Tony.  Later, when the NYPD arrived, he blared “F— the Cops”

I love Danes.

And Will’s lady friend, Loretta, sang.  I’ve been waiting to hear her live for AGES.  Her voice is gorgeous.  Really, she took that rowdy, semi-drunken crowd and shut them up instantly.  Nobody wanted to miss a note.

And then we had these  burlesque performers who pretty much donated their time (they usually make real money for this)…and they were INCREDIBLE.

This is the sexy and hilarious Kat Mandu.  Be her fan on Facebook:

And the adorable and alluring Anja Keister, which you pronounce “On Your Keister”.  Here is her Facebook :

PS, this photo by Dale Rio, the bestest burlesque photog in America...I WILL meet you in person, Dale!

Here they are in action…but honestly, you gotta see ‘em LIVE!

i love the look on Munch's face

And Emily Johnson (see Emo Goes Postal) acted as the “kitten” (the woman who picks up all the clothes between sets). And she is the only Kitten I’ve ever seen who was a) wearing a fanny pack and b) can make a fanny pack look hot.

Gorgeous ladies: Beth, Emily, Golbie

And we had David, a great stand up comedian:

And yeah, I actually read from the book too.  Of course I made a sappy, sappy, heartfelt speech beforehand that essentially came down to this:  I love Thomas Warming.  Then I did a short reading, and  Thomas backed me up on the guitar, and I made Will sit behind me so I wouldn’t see his face when I said the dirty words (he is my grandad, after all).

And then we went kinda crazy, until the cops came.  Actually, everyone kept going crazy inside, and I went out to shoot photos.  They took the IDs of these poor people for “public drinking” (meaning out of plastic cups):

Sure, they were pissed. But they played it up a bit for my photo.

Then the cops proceeded to make them wait for an hour while they sat around in their NYPD van and chatted with locals and flirted with chicks:

PS  The one undercover cop looked like any other club-kid guy, with his cheesy ass Ed Hardy shirt.  And he loved being like, “‘Yo, dudes!” then flashing his badge at the drinkers to freak ‘em out.  I mean, C’MON.  No offense to Brooklyn’s finest…and I DO respect cops…but this was ridiculous.  They made these people wait for an hour, then left, FORGETTING to give them back their ID’s.  Seriously, some of the craziest (ie illegal) shit goes down in this neighborhood…so this was ridiculous.  But then again, kinda cool to get a BOOK READING busted, what can I say?

Then we spent the rest of the evening dancing, drinking, etc.  And the wonderful Manuel Arjona took pictures…he does this professionally, and donated his time out of the goodness of his heart.  And the pictures rock:

[View with PicLens]

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Overall, it was one of the best nights of my life.  Not kidding.  I felt surrounded by so many people I love and adore.  New friends (Renee, Peter, Liat) and ones I haven’t seen in ages (Allen!!!!!).  And to all the people who made this happen and donated their talent, time and energy….THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH.

And everyone author should get to make out with their amazing Danish boyfriend while signing books:

The store is Sunday Love.

Hope to see you there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!