So this will be a long one to kinda catch up.  But I’ll try to be concise.  And fail at it.  Oh well.

My life is truly insane.  And the insanity has become comfortable.  And maybe my life – via this blog – sounds incredibly exciting.   Sometimes I wouldn’t trade my existence for anything…but there are many, many difficult times too.  And recently my father sent me an email that simply said this:

Maya:

A short follow up. Creativity can be stressful but it certainly beats the comfort of boredom.

Dad

My dad is a really wise man.

In  “I can call star power” news:  my article about Anna Evans came out in Brown Bunny Magazine (a very cool Italian publication) and Hot Danish Artist Thomas Warming took the photos:

Crazy Bitches by Maya Sloan

and yes, this is the picture they opened with.  They are Italian, after all.

And literally the night before, I open Time Out magazine and guess who is featured in the nightclub section:

oh Kayvon and Anna...you guys are really, really odd.

Now a pinch-yourself moment.  Lucinda Williams is one of my favorite musicians of all time, and not just because her brilliant poet father taught at University of Arkansas while I was there…because she is a poet too. And she’s a songwriter who’s been a soundtrack to a lot of good/bad/emotional times in my life.  And I finally got to see her play live!  And I somehow got me and Hot Danish Artist Thomas Warming VIP passes (don’t ask don’t tell)!  And yeah, it was one of the best nights of my life.

The crowd:

And then we got to go backstage…her husband/manager introduced us (I know that sounds cheesy – husband/manager - but he wasn’t cheesy at all.  An incredibly cool guy).  And I could hardly talk to her, I was so starstruck.  But I mentioned her dad and started babbling and she just threw her arms around me in a huge embrace.  I  mean, what an amazing woman.

And Thomas asked her to take a picture with me….he knew I wanted one but would never ask myself.  And I said something like, “I feel so weird posing for pictures.  And I swear to god she said right in my ear, “Why, you’re so pretty.”  Then snap.  Which is why I have this crazy expression on my face:

like the average woman, I only feel "pretty" intermittently. but having Lucinda say that to me...well, that was cool.

So that was one of those wonderful moments.  And there was also a super-scary one.  Emily (of Emo Goes Postal) got really sick.  She ended up being in the hospital for several days.  And it was scary as hell…and also kind of mind-blowing, how brave she was and how all her friends and family came together to support her.  And even more…how even in that situation, in a truly ghetto hospital on morphine and in a ton of pain…Emily maintained her humor and warmth and incredibly huge glowing spirit…and I feel so very, very lucky to have her as a best friend.

Emo hearts Oprah

we decorated her room

And yes, she approved the following shot to be on my blog.  In fact, she liked the idea.  And that is another reason I love that crazy ass bitch:

we have all become oddly fond of this bag and have considered the decorating options: bedazzling? Sequins? At the same time, this bag will be gone soon and I know that will be a huge relief. But damn, that girl can work a hospital runway.

Believe me, that hospital will never be the same.  They were so sorry to see her go.  And the medical students would find their way to her room just to hang out.  It was kinda a big old sick party, with lots of morphine and Shasta and hot doctors feeling the need to “check up” on Emily on a frequent basis.  And it was a salon too, because in her doped out state she let me do her makeup and hair and nails.

She’s feel a ton better by the way.  And if anything, I think this reminds all of us how much she means to us…and hopefully reminds Emily how much she is loved.

And more….

Jefferson is close with this fucking awesome Italian artist….and she has this crazy famous piece…sexy mopeds.  I mean, these mopeds are gettin’ it on.

This is her, Daniela Dido.

And she invited us to this very exclusive party:

And the President of Italy was there.  And I’ve never seen so much real Prada in my life or better dressed women.  And I was wearing my H&M discount rack dress and we were totally out place and it didn’t matter…we had a blast. And the whole thing was surreal and great.  And there was lots of free cheese.

And we took a paparazzi shot…long after the paparrazi was gone, of course, since that was the only time we could get near the press station:

And a kickass gift bag.  And of course we closed the place down.

All in all, it has been a wild couple of weeks

a.  I met some of my literary heroes.

b.   I made the NY Society page.

c.  Both these things happened while I was dressed as a clown.

And that, my friends, is my life right there…meeting my heroes and making the society page in a clown suit.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happenings for Febuary 8th

visit his website here

He did this amazing reading, and afterwards I waited to get him to sign my book.  And I don’t know what hit me…maybe I was intimidated by his confidence and literary success…but I felt the need to tell him I didn’t like the end of his book. His  great book, by the way, very fresh and completely fearless.

What can I say?  I’m a brat.

And his response…well, he asked me why I felt that way, explained his intentions in ending the book so suddenly (which made sense, actually, though I’m still on the fence) and was incredibly nice.  Feeling awful for being such an obviously jealous bitch ( and one lacking in enough published endings to actually be critiqued by bratty strangers at actual readings), I told him I was a an writer, my book was going out for consideration, etc…and he gave me his email and was really nice and encouraging and actually sent my book to his editor some point soon after (where it was rejected…but damn, what a cool for him to do…and okay in retrospect, ’cause my editor is a rockstar!)

We kept up via infrequent emails for over two years now…he was encouraging of my work and me, and so excited when my book got picked up…and he gave me honest, heartfelt advice about publishing, the literary industry and writing.  And it blew my mind, this renowned author spending time on me!

Charles Bock...a man who is nice to random bratty chicks

And this was not done in a lascivious way (gotta say it, ’cause successful male writers have that stereotype about them)…Charles is a dedicated family man, very much in love with his wife, and was just being nice because – and this is the part that shocked me – there are successful writers out there who are NICE. They are good people.

I mean, not to go off on a tangent here…but we all know writers who have had a lot of success, but they kinda treated other people like shit on the way up…and yeah, they may be good writers, but to me the success is kinda empty and hollow when you’ve been compensating for deep-seated insecurity with ego and cruelty towards others (and guess what?  All writers have deep-seated insecurity…no need to compensate for anything.  Just own it.  I do.)

In Hemingway's case it wasn't his fault...his mother dressed him like a little girl. That would mess anyone up.

And here is someone like Charles who, come to find out, has been encouraging and kind and supportive of other writers for a long, long time (now I know this firsthand from his numerous friends now)…and that opened my eyes and taught me something.  Like I’ve said before…and I mean it…no book award or literary success or wads of money will keep you warm at night or make you feel truly loved.

I got Hot Danish Artist Thomas Warming to do that for me!

So when I emailed Charles last, and found out his wife Diana had leukemia…well, I was upset for him. They have a young child, too.  I told him I was there to help in any way I could, but didn’t hear back, which I understood.  Turns out the leukemia went into remission.  Unfortunately, it came back, and months later I got an invite to this:

Fellow Writers To Help Charles Bock with ‘Most Literary Rent Party Ever’

And the truth is, I couldn’t afford a ticket.  They were expensive (as they should be, this was meant to raise money for Diana)…  But I wanted to be there and help.  So I wrote Leigh Newman, one of his friends and the event coordinator (and a very cool person and   author), and offered my services as a clown to entertain the kids.

Leigh at the Literary Rent Party

And she said there wouldn’t be any kids…but they’d still love a clown.  And lord knows I’ve made enough balloons for adults in my time (balloons in a bar = free drinks all night)

And there you go.  The rest is history.

See that guy next to me...that's Sam. Lipysite.

BTW, I haven’t put on a clown suit or done balloon animals in years…and here’s the thing…it was like riding a bike!

This was a truly amazing experience.

Crazy things that happened:

I spent half an hour listening to the awesome band rehearse in the dressing room, having no idea the cute guy playing guitar and singing was one of my favorite writers OF ALL TIME Rick Moody, I mean, I adored him before I even knew I wanted to be a writer myself…

I even went up and made him a balloon – the first of the night – not knowing who the hell he was.

That's Rick Moody in the hat

Of course, when I found out later, Thomas brought him over to meet me ’cause I was starstruck…and Thomas knew I’d never get the nerve to talk to him again (even though he’d seen me put on clown tights and greasepaint in the dressing room )…and so I geeked out on him and he was so cool and took a picture with me…and he made the society pages holding my balloon animal!

I still didn't know who he was

from New York Social Diary...I think that was supposed to be a dog. I'm outta practice.

I made another balloon for rockstar writer Jim Shepard – and discussed the phallic nature of balloon animals in general – without knowing who he was.  Then he did a kickass reading and tore the place apart.  His book is about Iraq vets and has scenes in Ft. Sill (that’s in Oklahoma)…so I worked up the nerve to tell him about my book…which he said he’d like to read…and I just happened to have (Thomas made me bring it, I swear!  I’m so thankful for my deijile boy!)

I made  balloon animal for another dude ALSO not knowing who he was…and he insulted my balloon skills!  And so I told him the least he could do was hold the balloon and give me some advertising…and he said he’d put it up as decoration at the Literary Advice Booth:

…and so I said…what an idiot…oh, you’re a writer?  And he was like, I’m Sam Lipsyte.

And it seems, looking back, I made balloons for lots of bigtime writers (I mean, the place was packed with them) without knowing who they were…

Here I’m making a balloon for this precious little baby…turns out this is Josh Ferris’s kid…love the video because the kid looks completely nonplussed until the last second…wait for it, wait for it…yeah, this is absolutely the child of a writer!

And later I got advice from Amy Hempel (a true rockstar writer) at the Literary Advice Booth…and the crazy thing was she kept letting me ask questions even after 20 minutes…she answered with honesty, then would say, “Let me have another.”

And the stuff she said to me in that conversation – about being a woman and a writer, about making money as a writer, about owning your writing…well, that was stuff I will take to heart and never, ever forget.  Getting that kind of advice from someone as gifted as her…well, what a once in a lifetime experience.

and I actually made her laugh

And I met someone else I have always wanted to meet.  Mary Gaitskill.

It was a surreal, fantastic night…and the best part was that they raised a TON of money for Charles’s wife…and when I went up to him dressed as a clown, and told him I was Maya…his face went from shock to a huge smile.  ”High Before Homeroom!” he said.  And then I got to tell him exactly how much his kindness to me – some unpublished, kinda annoying chick who bugged him after a reading in LA – had meant to me.  And how much his kindness and warmth means to so many people…and how obvious that was if you looked around the room.

And I think that meant something to him…I hope it did, because I meant it.

Thomas took video all night for his wife to see in the hospital and be reminded how much she is adored and loved.

And here is what I learned from that night….writers can be good people too.  There wasn’t a bit of “who are you/what can you do for me/who has more cred/who is more famous?” vibe in there that night…these people were here to support Charles and Diana and their child, and the energy was warm and embracing of everyone.  And seeing that hardcore bigtime writers can come together like that for someone…well, that gave me hope.

But I already knew that.  Here are a list of my friends – truly gifted writers – and people I adore for just being who they are:  Stephen Sanders, Matthew Goldberg, Kodi Scheer, Randa Tantawi, Katie Arnoldi, Zack Karabashliev, Sara Karabashliev, the late E. Lynn Harris, who is always watching out for me…wow, and those are just a few of so many. I’m really, really lucky.

If you want to donate to help Charles’s wife, you can do so here.  He’s such a good guy and the family could use the help.

Enough of all that.  Let me just leave with one last deeply meaningful and deeply literary thought:

1. a.  Try and sound “writerly”.
2. b.  Be myself.

Yeah, I chose B.  And yeah, a writer who uses the term “clown fetish” in the first paragraph of their interview?  Literary “star” indeed.  If you use the term “star” ironically, I mean.  

Literary Stars Shine – High Before Homeroom author to read at Faculty Reading

But here’s someone I really think is a star….my deijile boyfriend, Thomas Warming.  He’s got a kickass new blog that links to his website and it talks all about his process and has some of the new projects he’s working one, a few of which I’ve pasted excerpts of below…my man (insert girly sigh) is brilliant.

And did I mention hot?  I’m sure I did at some point.

Look how proud I am

THOMAS WARMING:  THE BLOG

a brief preview:

And in case you were ever curious about the obsession with Uh-Oh, Monkey!, i.e. Uh-Oh Monkey goes to the Jungle Room:

Now, all is finally going to be revealed…Uh-Oh Monkey is, in fact, an iconic toy by legendary Danish designer Kay Bojesen that is being released on the world again through top design company Rosenthal…and monkey is just the beginning of the animal takeover! And it all begins with this book.

Soon there will be a monkey takeover of THE WORLD!!!!!

Monkey is loose...watch your back!

Jais manages a band, and we went to a street fair to see them perform.  Danish street fairs are tradition…and they’re pretty wild.

And there was some really interesting characters:

The band was great…of course, I have no idea what they were saying, but they sounded good.

From what I was told, they are pretty edgy…a lot of political commentary in their lyrics. All I know is that any lead singer who wears this kind of jewelry is OK in my book:

More public art:

And the craziest sign in a store window for body piercing. This would not go over well in America, you think?

Ah, Danmark.

Every grave is distinct and unique…a world in itself.

H.C. Anderson's Grave

Kierkegaard's Grave

Grave of cult author Dan Turell...people leave him cigarettes (he loved to smoke)

We also saw the grave Thomas Koppel, a famous folk singer (part of the Danish band Savage Rose), whose daughter Naja is  friends with Thomas…I saw her perform at Arlene’s Grocery in NY, and she was pretty amazing (and a genuinely cool chick).  She’s got a new album out, and I saw her face all over Denmark while I was there:

Naja’s Website

Her father’s grave was especially touching.  Very understated, just a rock with a handwritten message.

Afterward the graveyard, we went to the Rosenborg Castle!  I’ve never been in a castle before…and it was over-the-top, garish fabulousness:

Let me explain the British flag purse...I found it on the street a few hours earlier.

Bowing for the Queen

This Guy was a Total Pervert...inbreeding, anyone?

The Queen's Vanity

And then my ultimate dream came true…of course Ina saved it for last.  I saw the CROWN JEWELS!!!!!!!!

Then we walked around the city and checked out the sights:

One of the trashiest bars in Copenhagen (of course, I’d already been there):

We hung in another bar known for the literary clientele…back in the day it was a Bordello, and it still has the wallpaper!

And Thomas bought us licorice pipes:

Then it rained.  When in stopped, there was a rainbow.  And it was the perfect end to a perfect day!

Scenes From The Studio:

And, of course, the night wouldn’t be complete without the creation of an experimental film (and by “experimental”, I mean black and white.  And that’s only because Thomas and I can’t figure out how to set the camera back to color):

What do I say about a five hundred person, 2 day Rockabilly festival on an island outside Copenhagen?  Well, I’ve never seen anything like it.

In America, however you define yourself, you can probably find a crew…whether you consider yourself Psychobilly, Rockabilly, Punk, Neo-Punk or Cock Rocker (and yeah, this is a real thing…I still don’t have a handle on what it is exactly, but it does exist).  But in Danmark, it isn’t that easy.  At least, this is what Mille (one of the coolest chicks I’ve ever met…a deejay, PHD student, former  backup dancer for a Los Angeles Psychobilly band, and one of the founders of Gutter Island) told me.  Check her out here:

So whatever you believe…or however you define/don’t define/choose to abhor definitions yourself…you can still come to Gutter Island.

Hence, the weirdest, most surreal configuration of people I’ve ev er seen.  And I was the only American there (at least, I didn’t meet another one).  We slept in tents, peed in the grass and swam in the sea with jellyfish.  We participated in a great many debauchery-laden escapades and met a ton of cool people…and I feel pretty honored to have been there.  I mean, how many American chicks get to hear kickass music on an island, hang with Norwegian bikers and Finnish gangsters…explore the crazy, winding underground catacombs of a former  military base, running across everything from passed out Scandinavians with greaser haircuts to copulating Swedes in old-school torn punk jackets and spiked mohawks.

It was pretty crazy.

So here are just a few of my favorite moments:

Thomas’s best friend (of 36 years!) Peter was commissioned to do this installation project:

The whole thing was in a dark canyon space at the center of the festival…at night, with complete darkness around, it was this gorgeous glowing structure at the center of a black abyss.  I loved watching the project unfold from beginning to end…watching them build the whole thing from scratch, watching people dance like crazy on the stage, watching them REBUILD the structure the next day after people tore it apart by dancing like crazy so that they could once again dance like crazy again that night.

Peter was a great DJ, btw.  Not to mention performance artists.  Wait for it…wait for it…

Went to the Branets Museum , where Ina works (and is the greatest tour guide ever)…loved the whole thing…really eclectic work, including some Viggo Mortensen photos!

Saw an exhibit where you get to WEAR the art!   People walking around inside huge flowery contraptions…very Midsummer Nights Dream. And, shocker, of course I had to try it:

Outside was a whacked-out disco-ball installation on the town stage.  People sat on huge bean bag chairs in the flashing disco lights, and Thomas took the most rockin’ Michael Jackson picture of me ever:

And did I mention Denmark’s foremost Elvis impersonator?

The view from Ina's window in the morning...Chinese lanterns for flowerfest!

public art

Really WEIRD Public Art

Well, this one is pretty obvious

Denmark is where hot Danish artist Thomas Warming grew up!

They are called the Original Iphone DJ’s…and that is all I know.  Like I said…there ain’t ‘nuthin like Miami.