The Munch Machine Float

Yesterday I got to live out one of those secret fantasies I never knew I actually had…well, until I experienced it!  I got to be on a float in the Halloween parade!

And it was one of those moments (it lasted hours, actually) when I just kept repeating, “Is this really happening?” And it was happening, and it was freaking awesome, and I will never forget the experience as long as I live.

I love Halloween…and New York is the best place to celebrate such a whacked-out holiday. I mean, the whole thing is surreal…New Yorkers love any excuse to go crazy…and free license to dress up as their subconscious fantasy and roam the streets unrestrained…well, to be honest, that isn’t much different than an average day in the City…except, in this case, EVERYONE is doing it and not just a few freaks you pretend not to notice on the subway for fear you are just like them somewhere deep inside.

see those freaks on the right side of the photo? I know those guys.

And of all the parades in the world, the Halloween Parade in New York is one of the best…not to mention the biggest Halloween parade in the US. And yes, it is utter and complete fabulous chaos. And all those years of watching it from the sidelines (which I loved), I’d never in a million years thought I’d be PART of the whole thing.

Total Halloween Chaos

So gifted Danish DJ Peter Munch, who was kind enough to play my book release party (and did an improvisational F— The Police as the party being busted by Brooklyn’s finest) has a yearly float…people pay to be on it, and rightfully so. But luckily, Thomas helped Peter with some concept design and a kickass poster, and Peter invited us on for the ride…and we had NO IDEA what was in store.

Check out Peter’s stuff:

Art by Thomas Warming

Peter’s float was fifth, moved up from last year because he rocks so hard. And even though I’m not a huge techno fan…well, Peter is so damn good he makes you LOVE techno despite yourself…he can read a crowd, play just what they need…his choices are funny, surprising, dark…and his mixes are utterly appropriate and unexpected at the same time…in other words, I’m a huge fan. And he’s just cool shit, as is his lovely wife Liat.

So the theme was Superheroes, but I was too late…I’d already gotten my Uhura costume (as a shout-out to my geek-fabulous boyfriend, Hot Danish Artist Thomas Warming…and I was the retro Uhura, not the cheesy updated version sans beehive)…and Thomas was gonna be Kirk, and of course Amazon f-cked up his costume delivery, so we spent the morning running around the city to find him something to wear, which involved braving the desperate crowd at the Halloween store ON Halloween (utterly horrifying), getting the wrong size, his having to endure an odd employee who used the guise of “professional Costume Designer” to grab his crotch several times to show us what we already knew (that the costume indeed did not fit)….the whole thing culminating with us in the restroom of a diner 15 minutes before we were supposed to be at the parade spraying his hair black and then busting ass through crazy throngs of costumed crowds to Soho before float liftoff…

Did I mention the float theme was Superhero? And everyone had amazing Superhero costumes? And I was dressed as a Star Trek character? Well…whattaya gonna do?  I went with it.

I can’t really explain the feeling of being up there with utter insanity below, thousands of people packed together, dancing, every costume you can imagine…waving at us, taking pictures, wanting to high five us, all of us heading down 6th Avenue to crazy Techno music right behind a pro-marijuana float run by a former male pornstar (now in his 70’s) known as Captain and flocked by young hot scantily clad chicks in Sailor outfits (P.S. Of course I snuck on his float to see what was going on, and his much younger girlfriend introduced herself then lifted Captain’s shirt to show me his hairy g-stringed butt…an image I will unfortunately never be able to fully erase from my mind)

The Captain

A completely insane night, people dancing and screaming and cops everywhere.  And, of course, the costumes!

And literally floating down that street…well,  it was complete and perfect madness… like that scene in Vanilla Sky where Tom Cruise runs through an empty Times Square…for a minute, you feel like you own the city…and in New York – the wildest, most exhausting, most exhilarating place on earth – well, to feel like you own it, even just for pretend, even just for a second…is kinda great.

Thank you Peter and Liat!

making new friends

Note:  My mom got me that Brooke Shields doll when I was a kid because she heard they’d be collectors items.  Up until a few weeks ago, I’d resisted the urge to open the box and decrease the value…but recently I figured, what the hell?  You’re only 33 once! And, by the way, I once saw Brooke Shields in a restaurant in NYC…I went up and told her I had this doll.  She said, “I hate that doll.  When I was in college, I’d come home and find my roomates had hung it by a little noose.  They thought it was hilarious.”  She was pretty cool.  

Saw this one in Arkansas.  So disturbing. Not even a doll… a scrub brush.  Ugh.